Wednesday, June 28, 2006

On Being a Girl

Or, should I say, on being a woman? I don't know what makes that difference. Is it age? Or is it preferring men over dinner to chocolate doughnuts?

This is not about that discussion, however.

Girl or woman, things are not fair, my lady!I have always thought there is a fair amount of unfairness against women. How, in school, the boy was the School Pupil Leader and the girl, the Assistant School Pupil Leader.How, it is perfectly sensible for a woman to swallow her education and marry appropriately. How, if a woman is molested, it is her fault to have dressed inappropriately.How, a burkha is the perfect answer to male lust. How a rape victim gets justice in the form of a mere four year imprisonment.

I am sure every single woman in this world would have had an experience with sexual harassment. Be it with the roadside romeo who makes you walk faster on a perfectly public road. Or the marauding man in the office whom you initially bear with, and later, who makes your gut wrench. Or the shady soprano in the lift, who thinks he has an edge just because you are alone with him. Or the lewd leerer in the public bus who just can't keep his hands to himself.Do any of us fight back? Most of us, bear with it. Even if we try to claw back, it is not even a scratch on the surface. This is not even a question of liberty. This is a question of injustice. What and where lie the answers?

10 comments:

Sriram P said...

ooh.. becoming serious are we?? Is it the result of the headache??
But on a serious note.. I totally agree with you and it depends purely on the soceity you live in.. Atleast here in Norway, I find that men and women are almost kind of equal atleast looks that way.. Men try to help the family in every aspect and Women have more freedom to express themselves even against harassment.. But sadly in India, its very non-existant.. Though people talk publicly and then some stupid army opfficer will come on media and talk against women in army and it goes on.. and then you hear so many rape stories involving Policemen who are the pillars of the law and order.. Its very sad indeed...

Hemamalini said...

@sriram..yeah.i noticed that in Norway..i sometimes find it strange that i feel safer in a foreign country's road in the night, than i would have been in India!! Something has to be done about it, man.but dont know what..

Sriram P said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sriram P said...

To address this question.. I dunno how to solve this problem.. i think its basically animal behaviour... make ppl more educated and help them to get better probably.. but u cant excuse the Police commiting crimes.. they should be punished..

Aishwarya Rao said...

It is difficult to address this..coz generations after another have been classically conditioned to lech @ a woman's boobs. Coz the 'respect'we have for our women is a farce. Coz we dont really want to address this issue! Coz we find it difficult to be passionate about causes. We are better of selling soaps and having a secure job.

Sriram P said...

@Princess: Look i think you are just going over the top here. Agreed attraction is something that ticks off ppl, but thats a basic animal instinct in every human.. But doesnt mean not everyone cannot control their desires... Dont tell me that women dont look at men and drool at them.. But i think u r completely way off the topic.. Women's rights are totally different from these silly issues..

Hemamalini said...

@princess...its like corruption. we know its there, but simply wouldn't do anything about it, maybe make movies or well, blog..

@sriram...the problem is when it goes beyond drooling..that is when it gets humiliating..

Neelam Prabhu Gaonker said...

and what irks me most is the fact that even if u try to retaliate, everyone in the bus or on the road just turns his/her face as though nothing has happened and walks away when the least they can do is atleast stay on and support u....

Hemamalini said...

@neelam..tell me about it!infact, some of them even say - what did YOU do?

Anonymous said...

Hemalini:
1) Society is structured this way; How many advertisements do we see for *MAKE-UP* for Men? or any display scantily clad Men along the highway?
2) Sorry about this: Women too tend display hmmm... *&^%$ while jockeying for political power in offices; Sorry again, I have seen this happening in various offices, across world; Asian - including Indian, burqa wearing ME women, white, black, you name it;
3) As far as groping is concerned - I've had my cousins tell me about *IDDI* mannargal; Let me ask you the same question, I asked my cousins: what prevents you from giving a kick, where it hurts a male most? In this, You are just following the methods used by the Govt; Only way crime can be prevented is through raising the cost of doing it; Of course, Society should also provide a healthy way for the demented to let their feelings out.
4) Feel Safe factor: I don't know about Norway, but to say that you *feel* safe abroad is just that - Feeling. I'd say you do not venture to *Hot Spots*; Here at Queens, NY a few months (or was it weeks, not sure) a woman of Asian origin (not Indian) was raped and murdered at around 3.A.M. Reaction for this in a article in WSJ: The woman was *stupid* to go out to a Bar at 3.A.M. AND agreed to be escorted out by a total stranger - This was written by a *WOMAN*! Yet if you turn on the TV, you see *barely-clothed* women in most shows;Issue is not *Stupidity* it is the Society -duh; If a woman shows her cleavage, then most drooling Males *WILL* look.
5) Both Men and Women should have control. I had a Musilim friend, who says, if women bares, he just cannot stop going after them. My answer to this, is that if you see a GOLD watch in a store, you just don't grab it; You have the sense to control yourself.
6) Something has to done about it: I'd say that start young; Listen to Ramayana; Talk about GOD - Perumal,if you are a Vaishnavite; Jeevathma is genderless, colorless; self-realisation is the best bet.
best of luck!
RS